It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
