It's Friday. Sex?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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