the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
