I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
wow bdsm is so cute
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
