Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
