I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
