Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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