we have pet lesbian snakes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
