how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
