My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
