I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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