His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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