STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
