Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
