so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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