I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
