I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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