Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
