On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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