my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
