just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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