At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
