I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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