dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
