you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
