why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
