It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
