i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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