Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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