Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
