bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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