thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i came on her dog
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
