So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
