I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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