What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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