No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
