The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
