Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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