We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
