He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
