It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
