I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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