if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
