Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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