We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I will be naked everywhere
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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