Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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