u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
