Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
