I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
