I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
