I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
